remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you inspire me to be a worse person
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
