There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
