Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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