Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
