Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
