Got a toothbrush?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize