she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
