I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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