cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You need Xanax blowdarts
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
