Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
