You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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