Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
