tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
