And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
