Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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