I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
