I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
True but thats because hes a fetus.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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