Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
