He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
