Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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