he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
