Whod you bang
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
