If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
