having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
