just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
