Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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