I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
