Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
