On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize