Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
