Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
