I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
