the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
