dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
