high people should be assigned attendants
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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