i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
