ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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