Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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