North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm like, not good at living.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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