Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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