I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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