if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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