I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
