How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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