dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
