Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
