You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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