you guys were way drunker than both of me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
