Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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