i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize