yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
