I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
