Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Randomize
