He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
