is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
