break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
