Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
