Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize