My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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