In the future we'll all be gay
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
