he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I want a musical about memes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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