Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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