And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize