Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
