I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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