I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
