If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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