I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
