You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There r osticjed everywhere
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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