Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize