Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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