i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize