I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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