i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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