I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
